"Help Me! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!"

My grandmother is a wonderful woman but there are some things about her that makes you want to just sigh, shake your head and laugh.  One thing is her issue with certain commercials.  Some being the Gieco commercials like the one where a doctor tells his dying patient that he has good news but it's not that he will live but that he saved money on his car insurance.  She actually called Gieco to complain that their commercials were offensive.  This brings me to the title of this blog.  The other commercial she doesn't like is the one for LIfe Alert where the woman falls and says, "Help me!  I've fallen and I can't get up!"  I remembered this commercial while spending the past 2 weeks at sleep away camp with my students.

It was a real eye opener to be around my students 24/14.  I came to the realization that their generation is missing some pieces of social interactions that should have been taught to them by the middle school age.  

The first thing was their lack of knowledge on how to clean the cabin.  One student decided after getting her task of cleaning the bathroom sinks she would stand around by her bed.  She put off starting the task because she "didn't know what to do" or where to get the supplies.  This was a trend among most students during cabin cleanup and meal time.  The first few days I think the girls were a little put off that they actually had to do the work and couldn't rely on the adult of the house to do it for them.  This is when I heard the term "learned helplessness."  It perfectly describes how our youth are raised in a society where they are pampered and not expected to do the dirty work.  Of course this is not the case for all students, we had some extremely helpful ones among the bunch.  And I'll admit that I'm kind of among the bunch of "learned helplessness" kids.  The only difference is my attitude about it.  Some kids just have to be more proactive about asking for help when needed instead of avoiding the task given to them.  

The second was the lack of table manners among some of the kids.  It became pretty apparent that some of the girls were never taught proper etiquette.  Body posture was hunched, there was a lack of use of utensils, lack of serving technique, and most disturbing was the chewing with mouths open.  These are all manners that are often taught in the home during meal time.  After observing a student who lacked some of these manners, another adult and I inquired about her meal habits at home.  She said that most people in her house eat at separate times...bingo!  There's the reason.  In busy households kids don't have the opportunity to eat with the adults and therefore are not told to "chew with your mouth closed," "no elbows on the table," "use a fork and knife."  

This was something I tried to enforce at meals (the picking apart of beef with fingers was just not kosher).  Hopefully the girls remembered some of the lessons we tried to instill.  I tried to convince them it's better to have table manners so they don't scare away a guy on a date, since they're pre-teen and teen girls I figured it was the best motivation.  Unfortunately the girls don't have access to proper utensils during meals at school and often the food is finger food so it will be hard to continue the proper practice in school.  Maybe this can be an extra activity?  Occasionally having a sit down meal together?  I don't think the girls would mind a nice meal.

All in all camp was a decent success, but I'll share more about that in my next post.

Thanks Twitter!

So I have found a new love with Twitter.  I have found so many education connections that I can't keep up with all the good articles, videos, etc!  I have a running list of bookmarks to be looked at.  This makes me feel so connected, smart, savvy and well...educated. 

Here's a video that I came across a few days ago.  It's pretty powerful.  

This video reminded me of a poem my mom told me about when I began teaching:

Children Learn What They Live (1998)

By Dorothy Law Nolte (1924 - 2005)

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.


If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.


If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.


If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.


If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.


If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.


If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.


If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.


If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.


If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.


If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.


If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

As teachers, many of our students look to us to be their role model or parental figure because they are lacking support at home.  I find this with my students, some more than others.  We always have to be conscious of what we are doing around them and that we are acting how we expect them to act.  I have also found that when praise is given to the students who are doing the right thing more students will start doing the right thing, rather than punishing or pointing out the wrong actions.  Picking out the bad is not as effective as picking out the good.  

I love the last line of the poem: "If children live with friendliness, they learn that the world is a nice place in which to live."  It says nothing about fortune, opportunity, or materials.  It says friendliness, which I wish some of my students would be exposed to more.  So many of them view the world as harsh because they see so much of the negative from people and the media.  There are so many dangers out there it's hard to accept a little friendliness with out thinking about an evil motive behind it.  Every day on my walk to and from school I encounter my "friends."  These are older men who great me with a smile and either a "Hello darlin'," "Hi beautiful," or "You're lookin' good today."  Ok, I'm not trying to flatter myself, but they are acts of friendliness from men who are trying to show their neighborhood is welcoming.  I've come to recognize and make acquaintance with these men, but at first I would look straight at the ground and try not to make eyes with the "creepies."  But now that I've accepted their warmth, their gestures are endearing and make my day a little brighter.  I wish all children could experience this with out having to worry that the people are pedophiles or want to lure them into a trap.  If only the people would teach friendliness in its pure sense we would have a more beautiful world.

So lesson of the day: be a little more friendly, open and accepting.  You never know who you might influence and what affect it will have later.

One Out of Tune Note Can Sour The Whole Melody

All classes have their own unique dynamic.  Every teacher knows who works well with who, who is the class clown, who needs reminding to stay on task, and who is the "trouble maker".  Well what happens when that one "trouble maker," or student that knows how to throw off the balance of the classroom, leaves and a new one takes his/her place?  This is a dilemma I'm now faced with.

Last year I got to know the girls in one particular class very well.  I knew exactly who was the ring leader of the "popular" group.  Having one of these groups makes the class dynamic interesting.  To completely stereotype this type of group, they are the ones who try showing that they don't really care what's going on in class and that they are "too cool for school."  The ring leader, therefore, is the one who can either make or break the class.  This student and I had our differences but in the end I figured out what would work with her and I started to balance out the class.  This year she is not with us anymore, but a new student has entered the group.

With out giving much detail, this student has not completely assimilated into the class yet, which makes her stand out a little and she does not know how I run my class and how the class responds to that.  Her personality is strong which makes her hard not to notice, to deny and to keep on task.  With only knowing her for a week, I can already foresee issues.  During individual work she is often off task and those around her want to be off task with her.  Even when the others realize this is not a good decision and try to get back on task, she is so undeniable that they become frustrated and give in to her antics.  

This is where I'm in a predicament.  I know that this could be a good and challenging environment for her.  It has the potential to take her strong personality, with potentially good qualities, and make a good leader of her with great responsibility.  At the moment, though, it's hard to try to work with her because of her newness and the fact that I have established a dynamic with the rest of the group that she is just not fitting into.  

I guess I'm afraid at this point to bring out the authoritative side when the rest of the group does not need that.  I don't want to single her out, but maybe it's best to since she's already doing it for herself.  

Any suggestions on how to handle this student to help return the balance to the classroom?  

Good or Bad: All Estrogen All the Time?

I will be entering my 2nd year of teaching this coming fall.  I teach in a Catholic middle school with all girls.  I love the atmosphere of having a small group of about 45 girls and being able to connect with them.  But I have been wondering, and I have been asked this question by students, if it's a good thing at middle school age to go to an all girls school?  I haven't been able to answer this for myself yet because I can see both good and bad sides of the situation.  

The bad sides of all girls middle school is that it's the age of nastiness.  Girls at this age start to become aware of "popularity" and "coolness."  One thing my 6th grade girls say is that if you don't own an item from Juicy Couture then you're not cool.  They become so wrapped up in monetary items that they lose sight of what's really important, personality traits.  And of course it's always the mean girls that gain the popularity.  The ones that know how to manipulate those around them are the ones that the girls gravitate towards.  This is also the age of when girls start developing their attitudes and rebelliousness.  The girls sometimes feed off each other when attitudes fly.  When they are in heated arguments and discussions they can get very hot headed and forget where they are for a minute.  Another thing about an all girls school is that they don't get a boys perspective on things in school, especially literature.  Boys interpret things differently from girls and it is interesting for the opposite sex to hear other opinions.

The good side about all girls education is that the girls can reach for success with out worrying about what boys think or competing with them.  Some girls get so wrapped up in boys and what they think that they are afraid to challenge themselves academically because they don't want the boys to see them as a "geek."  Some girls may also still feel inferior to boys, due to how society has worked for ages, with men in top positions in the work force and with more power than women.  In girls schools the girls only compete with each other.  They are able to learn about successful women and strive to become those successful women.  Discussions are also able to flow freely and the girls feel less pressure and less inhibited.  As a health teacher, I am able to teach the girls about their changing bodies and answer all their "interesting" questions with out having to worry about making boys feel awkward about the conversation.  My students have developed a sisterhood that often becomes a family for the girls when they don't have much of a supportive home life.  We are able to be their support and encouragement.

One thing about all girls school, that I'm not sure if it should fit in a good or a bad category (you can be the judge), is the free sharing of bodily functions.  This includes belching and flatulence (oh yes, some girls freely fart).  For those that don't participate in this it's not pleasant because of obvious reasons, but it does lead to some funny situations at times.  Unfortunately I'm one of those people that find flatulence hilarious so I have trouble controlling my laughter when one girl breaks one.  But I guess it's good that the girls feel comfortable enough to let loose with each other and they do learn manners by saying excuse me.  

So what are your thoughts on the topic?  Is it good or bad at middle school age to have single sex education?