A Garbage Man Told Me To Smile...

Last week, as I was walking to the subway, I passed a man who was bringing garbage into the walk in dumpster.  Just as I passed him I hear him say, “Smile, school’s over.  We’ll try this again sometime.”  I immediately tried to smile back and really laughed to myself.  It amused me because, with out knowing me, he sized me up right away.  I guess being a young white girl in a predominantly black neighborhood is a good indication that I don’t belong and I’m probably a teacher.  I guess he also figured that my grumpy/stressed face was due to having a long day with rowdy kids.  

He really hit the nail on the head.  That day and the day before were particularly stressful.  We had a teacher absent, and were going to have another one out in another day, so one of my breaks was gone.  I was thinking of what content I had to put on my tests that I was making for each subject for 2 grades and how I could fit them in time-wise due to standardized testing the week after and being unable to do content tests then.  The girls’ behaviors were not so good and just draining.  I was also trying to rush so I could meet a friend and make an early train home so I could have a life experience totally separate from work.  

I guess I’m not so good at hiding all these feelings on my face while trying to get home and away from work.  In reflection, it makes me sad to think that I can’t smile after a day of work.  I believe that I’m happy in my profession, and position of work, but if I don’t smile often, am I really happy?  I feel every day should make you smile once at least.  I think I do that when my students do something cute, funny, or achieve a personal success.  But shouldn’t the events of the whole day add up to be positive and not negative?  Maybe I’m not evaluating and assessing my day fairly.  One day I will have to sit down and make a list of the positives and negatives and see which column wins.  If I end with more negatives, then something has to change.